Does My Teen Need Help Now?
Many parents have questions about what is normal behavior for the teen years. It’s common for the teen years to be a time of great change and growing independence. But if your teen is experiencing not only significant change but also emotional difficulty as a result of those changes, it’s time to look at what’s happening.
If you answer “yes” to two or more questions, please give us a call to help you navigate the choices you can make to help your teen now. The risk of not acting is far greater than most parents recognize. You can make the changes that will get them back to their full potential now.
Warning Signs
Is your teen having significant difficulty at school (grades, attendance, suspension/expulsion), with friends (spending time or getting along), or at home (communication or engaging as a participating family member)? Is it a sudden or dramatic change?
Are these difficulties impacting her/his mood? General appearance, hygiene, or self-care?
Are they experiencing anger, irritability, or significant worry or sadness because of the changes? If so, is it having an impact on their daily life so that normal life activities are becoming difficult?
Are they experiencing significant consequences with long-term impacts to these difficulties? Lowered GPA, suspensions or expulsions, difficulties with a job, losing positive friendships, interactions with law enforcement?
Are they avoiding the places of difficulty or having conversations about what’s happening?
Is your teen isolating or withdrawn from friends, school, or family?
Is your teen socializing and identifying with a negative peer group, or hiding their relationships with peers from you?
Are they experiencing a big change in sleep or weight, either much more or much less?
Is your teen using any kind of self-destructive behavior (alcohol, food, drugs, sexual behavior or dress, cutting or scratching skin, risk taking, talking in any way about death or lack of hope) in order to cope with the intensity of what’s happening? Do they seem numb or checked out to experiences that should be painful?
Is your teen defensive, avoidant, oppositional, defiant, entitled, demeaning, or combative about discussing the issues, either with you or other caring adults? Do they become emotionally or physically reactive to boundaries? If they are able to discuss, does the conversation about behavior and choices make sense? Are they taking responsibility and creating a plan (or participating) to change the situation or find solutions?
Is this an on-going conversation with no changes or worsening behavior or risk taking?
How much work as a parent are you shouldering to find solutions or create change? Are you doing more work than your teen to fix what’s happening?
How big of an impact is trying to find solutions causing for you? Have you lost time at work, spending many hours a week caring for a teen, paid fines for driving, legal or court issues, or paid for tutors or other specialists with little improvement or poor engagement from your teen?
Do you find yourself lying, hiding the truth, or avoiding conversations to hide your child’s behavior or the impact of their behavior? Do you make excuses for your teen’s behavior at school or with friends or family? Have you omitted information about your teen to school or other professionals? It is very common for parents to have a blind spot about how their own parenting choices--and deeply good intentions--allow the teen to avoid important consequences that could bring effective changes in the teen’s growth and appropriate independence.
Are parents not on the same page in terms of tolerating the behavior, expecting changes, or working to find solutions?
If you answer “yes” to two or more questions, please give us a call to help you navigate the choices you can make to help your teen now. The risk of not acting is far greater than most parents recognize.